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I have 3 children ages 8,7,6. They come form a broken home, with me as custodial parent. I'm having problems with them not listening, especially when they come home from their mothers on a weekend visit. She has told me time and time again that she doesn't like to discipline them because she is afraid that they won't want to go to her house anymore. So when they come home they are really irrespective towards me and their step-mother. They also realize that they can go to school and tell people that I spank them, and then Department of Human Services will come to the house and investigate abuse. I have never abused my kids and neither has their step-mom. I don't want my kids to grow up in trouble and be irrespective. We have tried time-out and that doesn't work. I just want to know how I can control my kids without having DHS visit every time that we try to discipline them. Thanks Craig and Pam Long |
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I have closely followed the tragic case
of Vicki and Valessa Robinson, and would like to offer my services
to your website. I am a teacher certified in the state of
Florida to work with emotionally handicapped students of all ages,
and have a Bachelor's of Science in Behavior Disorder's and
Emotional Handicaps. While no more an expert then anyone else
who works with these adolescents, I would be happy to answer
questions from parents or teens who feel they may need some advice,
in hopes of preventing such a tragedy from occurring again. If
you are interested, and would like more information on my
credentials or experience, you can contact me by email at lisagaryusa@netscape.net.
Thank you for your time, and please know that many thoughts and
prayers are with the family and friends of everyone involved.
Elizabeth S. Gary
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I watched 48 Hours tonight and was
disturbed tremendously by what I heard and saw, but not
surprised. I went immediately to this web site with my story
in mind and was very touched by the love and caring I experienced
upon visiting. I want to thank you for offering help when I
know from experience that when
help is needed it is hard to find it. This is my story.... Seven years ago I married a man with two children, ages four and five, who were in the custody of their alcoholic, drug addicted, neglectful and abusive mother. Planning visitation times, picking up and dropping off the children were always a nightmare due to the mother's anger and paranoia; worrying about the children when we weren't with them; listening to the horror stories when we were; experiencing the children's hurt, anger, and pain with and without them; and dealing with their behavioral problems caused by divorce created tremendous stress in my marriage and in the family. Five years ago my husband obtained custody of the children. He believed that if he loved them enough and gave them a home their behavior problems would disappear. It started out with what seemed like "little things"---accidental fires, stealing, lying, tantrums, smoking---to the point where my step-daughter tried to steal money from an ATM machine with a card she found (at age 10), breaking into cars, threatening suicide, threatening to kill one or all of us, more fires and so much more. My step-son had nightmares and tantrums, was disrespectful and would follow his sister's lead. My husband was in denial and would tell me that "it was just kids stuff", "all kids do that", and that "they would outgrow it". I was in horrible pain and fear for our lives, afraid to go to sleep at night because that's when she would prowl the house, my adult children were afraid for me, my husband would blame me and tell me that I was just overreacting. I felt so alone. Three months ago I left my husband for the fifth time. The months before I left my step-daughter, now twelve, called me names, hit me, threatened me, ran away, we had to keep our bedroom door locked to keep her from stealing from us, she kicked holes in her walls, pulled the doors off her closet hitting herself over the head with them to "kill herself" she screamed while doing it, burned holes in her carpet and room with cigarettes, stole from her friends, lied repeatedly, and we had several visits from the police regarding her participation in vandalism and burglary. Part of our problem was that the police let them get by with what they were doing. The security guard, who caught my step-daughter at the ATM, just called, told us what happened and asked us to pick her up. The policeman, who took the report when she broke into cars, did nothing. When she broke curfew and egged houses she was just ticketed and fined. When she was an accessory to the burglary, and the police had witnesses and proof, they decided they would just use her as a witness to prosecute the older boys involved. She was never held accountable and believed she could always "get away with it". It seems like we can only get help for our children when it is too late---when they have already committed a crime! Thank you for caring, Susanne |
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Hello,
I am a parent that attends a Toughlove group in Bradenton, Fl. I watched the 48 hours program last night and they mention your foundation concerning troubled kids. I would be very interested in hearing form your group and receiving any information you can share. a really big problem with parents with our group is similar to Valessa's, Parents cannot get their troubled kids help or into a program until sometimes it is too late. They have to commit a crime first . this past summer our group was trying to get some answers locally on the Cost OF CARE program for juveniles and I had to contact the department of juvenile justice in Tallahassee before I got any type of answer. a Mr. Hinchliffe who is the director of programs for the state answered my e-mail and agreed to speak to our group which he did last month. he promised to help parents in any way he could. someone ask him he he were familiar with the Valessa Robinson case and could not say he had heard of this.(????) we were trying to have see the problems parents are facing trying to get help for the kids. Our group is currently trying to get a Parents Bill of Rights written to submit to the Florida congress and Mr. Hinchliffe has agreed to help us with this. i hope you can offer some information and hope we can combine our efforts. Sincerely, Carolyn Ingles a toughlove parent |
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My youngest son, also
from a broken home is in a behavior modification program right now.
He will be turning 18 in November and will have to chose whether
what he will do at that time - stay and graduate the program or ...
We would appreciate your prayers as we endeavor to make wise
decisions at this time.
I wish your site would
have been available when I began looking for a facility about 2
years ago. By the
way - I read the stories from the heart re. Craig and his 3
children. I would certainly recommend the books
"Shepherding a Child's Heart" and "Withhold not
Correction". May I encourage him and his wife to
discipline as God says in his word regardless of the consequences.
Our pastor has said he would go to jail for disciplining his
children if that what it took to be obedient to God and to do the
best he could to raise his children to be responsible adults.
God's way works - man's way doesn't... I know from experience!
God bless you,
Martha Aller
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Would like to share your story with others, |
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| Vicki Lyn Robinson Foundation | ||||||||||||
| P.O. 262691 Tampa, Florida 33685-2691
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Vicki Lyn
Robinson Foundation
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